Work-life tug-of-war: Overcoming challenges as a mom in the workforce
by Dr. Lisandra Mendoza
Are you pouring everything into your family and career, yet feeling like you’re barely keeping up? Do you feel that familiar mom guilt when you miss a school pick-up, or wake up in the middle of the night worrying about PTA meetings, bake sales, and the big presentation you have next week? Maybe you’re nodding off while prepping for a board meeting, torn between work demands and the fear that you’re letting your family down. But the thought of not giving your all to your career can leave you feeling like you’re letting yourself down, too.
For many working moms, these choices can feel impossible. Balancing the demands of family and career isn’t just challenging—it’s overwhelming. You’re invested in both roles, yet it often seems like one has to come at the expense of the other.
Figuring out a balance can be a struggle, but with the right support, you can find balance and still do things your way!
Mastering the balancing act: Navigating life-work and work-life harmony
You’ve likely heard of “work-life balance,” but have you heard of “life-work” balance? While work-life balance focuses on managing time efficiently to stay productive at work and at home, life-work balance shifts the emphasis. It prioritizes well-being and family life first, allowing work to fit around these priorities.
Finding the right balance is crucial to your well-being as a mom — and it’s one of the hardest things to achieve. Whether you’re partnered or not, navigating the demands of motherhood in today’s fast-paced world can be daunting. Creating some separation between home and work can help alleviate stress and increase productivity, helping you thrive in both areas.
The challenges facing working moms
As a working mom, you might feel both exhausted and fulfilled. Today, women are more likely to work outside the home while raising children—a freedom that wasn’t always available to previous generations. It empowers women to retain independence, but it also brings unique challenges. Some days, everything might feel like it’s going your way; other days, it might feel like everything is falling apart.
Here are some common struggles that working moms face:
Time management
Balancing work and family schedules can feel like an impossible task. Managing priorities, from meetings to meal planning, often requires a superhuman level of organization. Unfortunately, cloning yourself isn’t an option.
Guilt and expectations
Bringing work home might make you feel guilty but missing a family dinner can bring on even more guilt. Differentiating between real expectations and self-imposed pressures is essential for giving yourself grace. The “supermom” ideal is unrealistic; no mom should feel pressured to live up to that standard.
Career advancement vs. family needs
Societal expectations often make it harder for working moms to advance professionally. You want to excel in your career, but you also want to be there for your family. Navigating these split commitments can lead to fear of missed opportunities.
Neglecting self-care
Between work and family, it’s easy to forget that you’re a priority, too. Neglecting self-care can impact your ability to manage your responsibilities. Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
Strategies for achieving balance
Being a working mom is challenging, but there are strategies that can help you find harmony. Here are four practical steps:
Set realistic goals and delegate tasks
Managing so many schedules can feel overwhelming, leading to the ball dropping in one place or another. Don’t try to take on the world (all by yourself) in one sitting. Get comfortable sharing tasks with your life partner, if you have one, and delegate tasks to your (more than capable!) children. Many families find that holding a weekly family meeting to go over schedules, upcoming plans, meal plan, and share ups and downs from the week is a useful way to connect and improve communication. You can use the meeting time to set smaller goals that eventually lead to the completion of the larger goals. And then celebrate the little wins along the way! This can not only keep you motivated and on track, but it also teaches children communication skills while reducing anxiety about the upcoming week.
Develop family time management techniques
Create schedules alongside your partner and child/children so you know what to expect on a weekly/monthly basis. Perhaps you use a whiteboard calendar in the kitchen to track important school events, soccer games, presentations, or client dinners. Knowing each other’s separate schedules and creating a priority list can help you make the most of your time. You and your partner might use a shared Google calendar, or you might input school functions on your Outlook calendar. Finding a system that works for you might take some trial and error, but it will be worth it.
Create boundaries around your time and energy
You might think that taking on just one more thing won’t be so bad. But when you’re already operating at max capacity, one more thing is too much! Setting healthy boundaries at work and home can help you protect your time and energy, so you avoid burnout and feel good about your choices (rather than resentful).
Seek support
You might feel like you have to do it all, but you’re not alone. Utilizing your support system of family and friends is vital. Therapy for working moms can help you establish the coping mechanisms you need to optimize your life.
Support for working moms
Support from both family and employers can make a significant difference. Open communication with your employer can help in finding solutions that support your role as both a mom and a professional.
If you’re looking for specialized support, Avatar Cognitive and Behavioral Center offers therapy tailored for working moms. Our psychologists and therapists understand the unique challenges you face, and we’re here to validate the hard choices you make every day. Therapy with us is personalized to fit your needs and goals, helping you feel empowered both at home and at work.
Working moms often struggle to maintain balance and cope with the weight of their many responsibilities. Some have developed coping strategies that work well for them; others are still searching for what feels right. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
A psychologist or therapist can help you:
Build a self-care routine that truly recharges you
Cultivate organization strategies that fit your lifestyle
Develop communication skills for collaborative relationships at home
Feel proud of your contributions to both family and career
Gain coping skills to manage stress and prevent burnout
Recognize and leverage your skills in all areas of life
Release feelings of guilt when taking time for yourself
Set boundaries to protect your peace, time, and energy
Work towards goals that matter to you as a working mom
At Avatar Cognitive and Behavioral Center, we believe you can optimize your time and find the balance you’ve been craving
Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just want to fine-tune your coping skills, we’re here to support you in making the best choices for yourself
When you’re ready to invest in your well-being, feel free to reach out to us. We’re here to validate your experiences and empower you to reach your goals
