Reconnect with yourself this holiday season
by Dr. Lisandra Mendoza
The holidays can come with many mixed emotions for women. On one hand, there’s the joy, rituals, warmth, and spending time with loved ones. On the other hand, there’s the mental load that comes with planning events, remembering everything that needs to get done, caring for the people around you, on top of your daily responsibilities. Even when you want to enjoy this time of year, it may feel overwhelming.
If you’ve ever reached December feeling tired or disconnected from yourself, you’re not alone. Many women share these experiences, especially at this time of year, and it’s why this season is a great moment to gently reconnect with yourself.
Here, we’ll invite you to:
Connect with yourself and your dreams again
Practice balance and grounding
Reflect
Slow down
Women often carry the emotional and mental load
Even in households with shared values and teamwork, women often carry more of the invisible responsibilities this time of year:
Anticipating potential conflict
Maintaining traditions
Managing grief or complex family dynamics
Planning schedules
Remembering everyone’s preferences
Trying to make the season feel special and magical
When you’re holding so much, it becomes harder to reconnect with yourself because your internal resources are being spent everywhere else. This isn’t a personal failure on your part. This is a predictable outcome of cultural and gendered expectations for women. Naming that truth is the first step toward reclaiming your own presence.
Let’s shift our attention
One place to start is instead of asking, “What do they need from me?” or “How do I make this holiday good for everyone?” gently shift the focus inward:
What would help me reconnect with myself right now?
For some women, the answer is rest.
For others, it’s boundaries.
For many, it’s the desire for more meaningful connections instead of surface-level obligations.
Try exploring these questions:
What feels nourishing to me this season?
What drains me more than it supports me?
Where can I slow down, even slightly?
What traditions am I keeping out of habit rather than joy?
What would I choose if I weren’t worried about disappointing anyone?
These aren’t self-indulgent questions. They’re grounding ones that help you reconnect with yourself.
How to reconnect with yourself in a busy season
Messaging around the holidays tells us to be present and close with our family and friends. However, many women express feeling more alone, overstimulated, or emotionally exhausted during this time of year.
To reconnect with yourself during the holidays, try implementing these practices into your daily rhythm:
1. Create small, predictable pockets of solitude
This could be 10 minutes a day that you set aside to breathe, stretch, journal, or simply be still.
2. Honor all of the emotions that show up
Joy and grief can coexist, as can excitement and exhaustion. Whatever emotions present themselves, allow yourself to acknowledge and feel them instead of trying to push them away.
3. Adjust traditions to fit your current capacity
It’s okay for rituals to evolve over time as your life and relationships change. It’s also okay if you need someone else to collaborate with you or step in to lead a tradition that you don’t have the time or energy for.
4. Communicate needs early and clearly
People can adjust if they know what you’re navigating. In many cases, they simply assume you’re okay because you always figure it out or seem to have it all together.
5. Let good-enough be the goal
Reconnecting with yourself is less about effort and more about giving yourself permission to slow down, feel your emotions, rest, and stop holding yourself to impossible standards.
Allowing yourself to dream again
The end of the year naturally invites reflection, but for many women, imagining the future can feel surprisingly difficult. When you’ve spent years tending to responsibilities, caregiving, work, and expectations, dreaming can start to feel out of reach or unrealistic.
Reconnecting with your hopes doesn’t start with big visions or five-year plans. It starts with making room to listen to what you want and need
Begin by creating small pockets of quiet, a walk without a podcast, a few minutes before bed, or sitting in your parked car. Notice what comes up when you’re not actively problem-solving. Pay attention to what you miss, what you feel drawn toward, or what keeps resurfacing.
You might explore questions like:
What do I feel hungry for emotionally, mentally, or creatively right now?
What parts of my life feel heavy or depleted, and what feels even slightly energizing?
What is one desire I’ve labeled as “something for later” or “not practical”?
If nothing needed to change immediately, what would I allow myself to want?
As you begin to focus on your hopes and dreams again, you may feel fear, guilt, grief, self-doubt, or confusion. Reconnecting with yourself often means acknowledging what you’ve set aside over the years in order to survive, function, or meet expectations. This isn’t about demanding answers or making decisions right away. It’s about rebuilding a relationship with your inner world.
You don’t need clarity about your entire future to begin reconnecting with yourself. You just need a few intentional ways to stay in conversation with what matters.
Here are a few practical ways to start:
Name one want without solving it. Write down a desire or curiosity without turning it into a plan. Let it exist as information, not a task.
Notice what drains vs. what steadies you. For one week, simply observe what leaves you feeling depleted and what helps you feel more like yourself.
Create one small boundary experiment. This might be saying no to an extra obligation, shortening a visit, or protecting quiet time. Pay attention to how your body responds.
Revisit something you once enjoyed. Not to do it perfectly or consistently — just to remember how it felt.
Talk about it out loud. Sharing your hopes, even loosely, with a trusted person or therapist helps make them feel real and allowed.
Reconnecting with yourself without pressure
This process isn’t about fixing or reinventing who you are. It’s about adjusting how much access you have to your own needs, limits, and inner signals.
This might look like:
Allowing yourself to rest without justifying it
Setting boundaries to protect your time, energy, and peace
Noticing when resentment is a signal to yourself that something needs your attention
Recognizing that tending to yourself creates space for you to deepen connections with others
Avatar CBC can support you through the holidays and beyond
If the holiday season stirs up stress, grief, frustration, or exhaustion, we’re here to navigate this time with you.
Therapy for women can be a place to:
Reconnect with yourself
Explore family dynamics that feel overwhelming
Build emotional boundaries that honor your capacity
Process grief or change
Rediscover your voice, needs, and hopes
Our psychologists and therapists understand the nuances of women’s emotional lives, including the invisible labor, cultural expectations for women, identity shifts, and the deep longing for something more balanced and authentic.
Whether you’re seeking healing, clarity, or stronger relationships, we’re here to help you reconnect with yourself and move into the next season with more intention and support. Reach out to Avatar CBC to get started.
You don’t have to do this alone
At Avatar Cognitive and Behavioral Center, we offer online therapy services in Florida, ensuring that women have access to mental health support across the Sunshine State
At Avatar Cognitive and Behavioral Center, we support searching for answers about who they are, who they want to be, and how they want to show up in the world. When you work with us, you’ll be met with compassion, expertise, and authenticity
